


After the Last Letter

by takeyouraim



Series: Love Letters [2]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, Canon Divergent, F/F, Fix It, I have no ideas of Kelly knows Kara is Supergirl in canon, Lena Luthor Knows Kara Danvers Is Supergirl, Pre Crisis, SuperCorp, alex needs to stop fucking meddling, but canon sucks anyway so Kelly knows here!, coming together, kara is useless, lena can't trust anyone, supercorp endgame i promise
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-09
Updated: 2020-12-20
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:01:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 15,220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25795570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/takeyouraim/pseuds/takeyouraim
Summary: "I love you, Lena. I love you in a way I’ve never felt before.I’m in love with you, Lena Keiran Luthor"These two lines finished the set of letters exchanged between Lena and Kara for months. The confession nearly breaks Lena, tears into her soul and leaves her empty. She also wants to tattoo the words, said only in Kara's neat penmanship, so she can read them whenever she wants.(Follow up to Letters with Lena)
Relationships: Alex Danvers/Kelly Olsen, Kara Danvers & Lena Luthor, Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor
Series: Love Letters [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1871356
Comments: 23
Kudos: 142





	1. Confronting Kara

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, okay. I know I was a bit of a jerk with how I ended the letters, but I don't think Lena had the temperament to actually write back so.... they finally talk. I started working on the aftermath and now I'm 20+ pages deep in feels with no end in sight. I'll probably update weekly for the foreseeable future, at least until they have some sort of resolution. This will continue until I run out of ideas in this world. I apologize for typos, but most of this section was written on my phone.

Kara hadn’t expected anything to truly come of writing Lena those first few letters. She had been upset, missing her best friend, and remembered Eliza’s favorite solution to write down all of your feelings, then burn it in a fire. Burning it wouldn’t help Kara, she knew. The problem wasn’t expressing herself, it was telling it to the person who mattered most. That also knocked out the possibility of writing it and keeping it in a drawer somewhere. She also couldn’t put everything on a paper that was shoved in a balloon, because so much of what she needed to say concerned her identity.

She struggled with the idea of going to Lena’s apartment for weeks. She didn’t want to intrude on her space. She knew Lena needed to process in her own time, but the fear that they’d never speak again gripped her. She opted for the balcony window. Never going in. She wouldn’t use the front door, because so much of that was Lena’s space. That, and she was afraid to find out if her security privileges at Lena’s apartment had been revoked. That seemed… final.

Kara tried to put everything into that first letter. Lay everything out, be as honest as possible, and hope for the best.

The second letter occurred because Kara was far too in her feelings over her mom. She always found it difficult to talk to Eliza or Alex about her old life. She was grateful to her new family, the chance they had taken on her, and loved them fully. But they weren’t the people she spent the first decade of her life with. Her earliest memories weren’t with them. They didn’t share her faith, her customs, or her blood. She missed her mom. And if anyone could truly understand it, it was Lena. Finally, she could tell Lena the whole truth about her family.

The third letter… she really shouldn’t have written. Or sent, at least. That one was definitely pushing it. But, she needed to say goodbye.

The day Kara came home to a letter propped up against the decorative fruit bowl Eliza bought her, she nearly destroyed the letter and the bowl in her excitement. Since that day, every day she got a letter from Lena was a good day. She would sit down with her own pad of paper and read the letter, reread it, then read it one more time while she wrote her response. The changes in Lena’s handwriting made her warm, and the carefully crafted thoughts and feelings she knew they expressed helped her feel closer to her best friend than she had in months.

Kara hadn't planned on telling Alex about the letters. At least, not until her and Lena were ready to start navigating a new normal for their friendship. But Lena's shock over Kara's familiarity with how Lena touched her necessitated a sister night.

_ "I get that she doesn't trust me and is reluctant to forgive. Really, I do," Kara sighed, glancing between Alex, who was hiding her expression behind a beer bottle, and Kelly, who was staring at her laptop screen."But this… this is more than that. Why would she think that all of those things about our friendship I wouldn't know or remember? I don't think she thought it was all fake…" _

_ Kara leaned forward and grabbed a donut from the box Kelly had gone to grab when she saw the look in Kara's eyes. She was deciding which one to take, and missed the knowing look Alex and Kelly exchanged. She leaned back with a huff and stared at the donut, but hadn't taken a bite. _

_ "What… sorts of things?" Alex asked, ignoring her girlfriend tapping her on the shin, out of sight of Kara. _

_ Kara shrugged, then dropped the donut back down on a plate. "You know… like… well the thing I had mentioned was the way she nuzzles my collar bone when she hugs me. But also like… she stopped hesitating as much with hugs and always held me tight, for a human. Like she didn't want to let go." Kara grabbed the donut again and took a bite. The sugar got her to keep talking. "But it's more than that. I could so easily tell the difference between Lena and an imposter. Even J'onn. Because it's all the little things like…" Kara sighed wistfully, then took a bigger bite. Mumbling around the pastry, she continued. "She has different smiles, you know? She's got the guarded, professional one, and the one when she's just Lena. The big, glowing smile that… that warms you. And you can tell exactly how she's feeling based just on her eyes and the tension she holds in her mouth and shoulders. Or how her heartbeat increases when she's happy or talking about a robot she's building." _

_ Alex opened her mouth, and Kelly gave her a subtle warning glance. Alex sighed, and shook her head. Carefully, she asked. "You notice these things about all of your friends?" She asked. "James and Winn… J'onn? Even me?" She asked. Her and Kelly had discussed this. Kara needed to draw her own conclusions, but Alex didn't have her girlfriend's patience. _

_ Kara waived a dismissive hand. “You’re different. You’re my sister. I don’t need to read you like I need to read Lena. You tell me everything with very little prodding,” she said, but chewed on her lip for a moment. “James and Winn…” Kara sighed. “It’s different with Lena,” she defended unhelpfully. “I’ve never had a friend like her before. Where…” she groaned and her eyes darted around the room, obviously searching for an explanation. “She gets me. And I get her. I feel like I let out a breath when I’m with her. Like I can let a guard down and just be Kara,” she said. “Which I know is a little strange considering what I was keeping from her, but I don’t know, Al. Knowing all of these seemingly silly things about Lena is a way I can make her happy, so I know them. It’s not like I have a notebook or something collecting information. It’s just… Lena,” she muttered, and shoved the rest of her donut into her mouth to stop her own babbling. _

_ Alex stayed silent for a moment, internally warring with herself. Finally, she sighed. “Look, Kar.. I’ve watched you with Lena for years--” _

_ Kelly interrupted, placing a hand on Alex’s knee. “Let her figure this out for herself,” she guided with care. _

_ Alex scoffed. “Years, Kel. I’ve watched this for years. She’s not any closer.” She turned her attention back to her sister, and stifled her own laughter at the look of pure confusion. She took a long drink from her beer bottle before continuing. “Kara, I couldn’t tell you those things about my friends. You, some of it. I could…” she glanced toward Kelly, but pressed on. “I could tell you those things about Maggie. I’m learning a lot of it about Kelly,” she added with a soft smile. “But not my friends, Kar. That’s not… something I know about people I have platonic relationships with. That’s something I know when…” she cleared her throat awkwardly, “when I love someone.” Both Alex and Kelly flushed, and exchanged a shy smile. _

_ Kar stared at her sister, but started to shake her head. “No, that’s… that’s not… we don’t…” she huffed slightly. “I haven’t felt like that since…” _

_ Alex cut her off. "Look, I know the only real experience you've had as an adult with dating was Mon El, but Kara ... That was not a good relationship! You guys fell together because you finally had an alien that wasn't your cousin and wasn't pure evil. But... You know you're not actually supposed to want to dump them every other day, right? Like if you have to grind your teeth just to be in a conversation with them... That's not love..." She let out a sigh and studied her sister for a moment, before pushing forward. “Mon-El was a dick. You could barely stand him half the time.” She held a hand up, needing to finish. “I know this is a loss you still feel, but I don’t think it’s for the reasons you think it is.” _

_ “Alex,” Kelly said, a bit more warning in her voice this time. “Don’t tell her how she feels.” _

_ Kara opened her mouth, looking a little affronted, but Alex beat her to it. “Kelly, she doesn’t know how she feels. That’s why she’s here. I know if you were her therapist you’d gently guide her to this conclusion in her own time, but you’re not her shrink because you’re sleeping with me,” she said with a shrug. “And it’s not like she can call up a therapist and ask them if they’d keep her secret, or be pro-alien, or have any kind of basis to help her through the piles of baggage she has,” Alex muttered. _

_ “You two… have boundary issues,” Kelly said with a sigh, but smiled nonetheless.  _

_ “We know,” Kara and Alex said in unison, then giggled softly. Kara turned her attention fully to her sister, her eyes wide and brow furrowed. “You’re suggesting I’m in love with Lena,” Kara said slowly, needing to make sure that she was understanding Alex correctly. _

_ Alex smiled at her, as though she had finally solved a math problem that had been plaguing her. “She gets it at last,” she teased. _

_ Kara stared at her. She wanted to shake her head, to adamantly deny Alex’s suggestions, but something was nagging at the back of her mind. It was the warmth she always used to feel in Lena’s presence. How flustered she would get when Lena wore something truly stunning. “I don’t… Even if....” She sighed deeply, then buried her face in her hands.  _

_ Kelly seemed to take pity on Kara finally. She closed her laptop completely, officially joining the conversation. “Kara, when you see an ideal future for yourself… what is it? Tell me about it,” she requested. “And not as your sister’s girlfriend. Just… talk. Tell me what you see in your future, if you had it your way. Who’s there, what are you doing… all of that.” _

_ Kara looked between the two of them. She chewed on her lip in thought, fiddled with her glasses, then relented. “I see.. Well… Clark and Lois and Conner, of course. And obviously Eliza and Alex. And…” she looked at Alex, but figured she could at least give her sister a hand here. “And you. And J’onn. And Lena,” she blushed, and this time she caught the warm look between Kelly and Alex. There was shyness there, no doubt due to the relative newness of the relationship, but she knew her sister. “I see game nights and family time and… happiness.” _

_ Kelly nodded, and had slipped her hand into Alex’s. “Okay. So you see your cousin with his family. Me and Alex together… you didn’t mention James or Winn. How come?” _

_ Kara shrugged. “They’ve got their own life now. I’m sure they’ll be around sometimes but…” she grabbed another donut. _

_ “How would you feel…” Kelly sighed softly. She was pushing so many boundaries she had set up for herself, to not “shrink” her friends, but Kara clearly needed the help. “You can have Lena around, but only if her chosen partner is there. Add that to this vision.” _

_ Kara’s grimace was brief, but they all caught it. “They better treat her well,” Kara grumbled. The unamused look from both women across from her caused her to sigh, then keep talking. “I’d hate it, okay? But not…” she groaned. “I want Lena happy. If that means that she has someone… I just hope they see all the good in her.” She pursed her lips, then started to shake her head. “I actually have feelings for my best friend?” she whispered, mostly to herself. _

_ “It happens to the best of us,” Alex said, hoping to make her sister smile. When she didn’t, Alex leaned forward to get Kara’s attention. “This doesn’t have to change anything, Kar. You can decide you don’t want a romantic future with her. But you do need to think about what you feel. Decide what it is you want with her, and so on,” Alex said gently. _

_ “You also should decide what you say to Lena,” Kelly said gently. _

_ Kara groaned. “I can’t lie to her. That’s what got me in this mess to begin with. And clearly, lying by omission is still a lie..” she buried her face in her hands, sticky with sugar from the donuts. “I need to think…” _

And think Kara did. Kara thought about the warmth she felt in Lena’s presence, the deep, painful loss that accompanied their broken friendship, and Kara’s complete and utter lack of interest in most people she met lately. Kara stopped trying to date after Mon-El, and she felt she had good reason for that. There was no one else on this planet (save for Kal-El), and few in the universe, who were like her. She was an anomaly, and her life simply couldn’t allow for someone. It would put them in danger, after all.

But, wasn’t Lena in a similar position? Lena Luthor was an anomaly as well, even if for different reasons. And her association was Supergirl was already a danger, as was her last name. Maybe…

Kara shook herself out of her thoughts as she walked up the steps of her apartment building. She had been drowning in her own thoughts of Lena since her conversation with Alex two weeks ago. She was used to thinking about Lena during her spare time, but now she was consumed by her feelings. Her feelings of  _ love _ . For her best friend. She had dropped the letter off at Lena’s apartment when she left CatCo for a brief lunchtime flight around the city, and since then has had headphones in her ears to attempt to drown out all thought, to no avail. 

Those headphones, blasting the showtunes Pandora channel and currently  _ OMiGod You Guys _ from Legally Blonde, were the reason she didn’t hear the familiar heartbeat that signified Lena’s presence. She also didn’t hear the pacing or the huffing coming from outside her front door. Kara climbed the stairs, her mail tucked under her arm with a large bag of Chinese food and several notes for her upcoming article. She stopped on the landing when her eyes fell on her best friend. Everything she was holding fell to the ground in a clatter (and a splat, from some food she was already lamenting the loss of). “Lena?” It came out as almost a gasp

* * *

The first time Lena came home to find a piece of paper taped to her balcony window, she nearly called her security team to sweep her apartment. Instead, she grabbed a gun she  _ definitely _ didn’t steal from Alex and approached the window cautiously. She slid it open, looked around, then pulled the letter off. She broke the seal of the envelope with shaky fingers, but the moment she saw the loopy handwriting, her knees went weak.

Lena knew why, of course. Lena knew exactly why she was so upset with Kara, why the loss of their friendship nearly broke her, and why she shut herself off so completely. She knew why her knees went weak at the mere hint of an olive branch from Kara. She had known why since the first day in her office.

.Lena had never fallen so quickly for someone in her life. She had never before been  _ smitten. _ Luthors didn’t get smitten. Lena Luthor definitely didn’t get smitten. They didn’t lose their heads over sky blue eyes or nervous ticks and clumsiness. Until Kara Danvers.

Lena hated herself for it, at first. She hated how she looked forward to press interviews just so she could try and fluster the blonde. Then she banned Jess from booking lunch meetings  _ just in case _ Kara wanted to stop by with her vast quantities of grease. Suddenly she was invited to game nights with everyone and  _ how the hell _ did a blonde reporter turn Lena into a  _ people person _ ?

Of course, Lena knew that too. It came with the warm touches and bright smiles and stupid jokes. The way that Kara listened to her about  _ everything _ , not just tech or business. The way she held her when she cried and valued  _ Lena herself _ , not the CEO, not the genius, not the billionaire. 

Then all of that came crashing back down when Lex clued her in on the largest oversight of Lena’s life. Lena began questioning everything. She thought Kara would be the only person to never lie to her - the only person to trust her completely. Suddenly, Lena was forced to question if any of it had been true, or if she had been played to a quality Lillian would be impressed with. 

Did Kara even enjoy her company? Was she simply trying to keep tabs on her natural nemesis? It certainly seemed that way, considering her fallout with the hero.

And then there was more. Lena, in an attempt to do the right thing, had forced Kara to make the decision to essentially banish her boyfriend during the Daxamite invasion. And Kara had seemed to forgive her for making the device to begin with. 

Kara's silence, aside from their screaming matches whenever they crossed paths, since their fallout had been expected, if not welcomed. The ruse by Kara and her little gang was up, and if it weren't for Lena's pesky little feelings they could go right back to the relationship a CEO and reporter should have - absolutely none.

Kara's attempt at mending this fence, in such a  _ Kara  _ way, broke Lena a little further. Her first read through the letter was hesitant, but the second was met with silent tears. Even to Lena's incredibly cynical, mistrustful, and broken heart, she could see how Kara was trying. Even still, with Kara's uninterrupted explanation and gentle words, Lena couldn't help but read this as "goodbye." A voice in the back of her mind, which had grown louder since she learned the truth and sounded remarkably like Lillian, muttered "good riddance." Her other inner voice, which Lena attributed to her birth mother and Kara brought out in her, urged her to write back. Before it was too late.

The second letter to Lena came after a particularly long day of meetings. She hadn't expected another one, but this time she ran to her balcony window and eagerly tore into the letter. She read it with a glass of whisky, then once more with another one. Again tears fell as she read it. Obviously, she knew Kara had lost her parents. She knew the story of Krypton's death, but she hadn't considered the parallels between the story Kara Danvers fed her, that a house fire killed her small family, and the death of her home planet.

It was clear now, through this letter, that a lot of what Kara had told her was true. Kara told her that her father was a scientist, her mother worked in law. They were respected in their fields and a loving, happy family. They were missed by more than just her. It was almost as though Kara simply dotted her  _ Ts  _ and crossed her  _ I _ s, barely tweaking her story to make it more human. Indeed, most of what she left out was that her childhood and parents' occupations took place on another planet.

The third letter was what convinced Lena to actually write back. However, she couldn’t come up with the words. She kept hoping they would come to her, something to explain her hurt by Kara’s actions without admitting her feelings. There was no reason to do so -- it couldn’t go anywhere, and Kara had made it clear her feelings were platonic. Between work being busy and Lena’s complete inability to talk about her feelings, two weeks passed without anything from Kara. The fact that Kara hadn’t written again told her that Kara meant that it was the last, final letter. That was enough to get Lena to sit down and scratch out ideas to respond before finally putting her own response together. Some whiskey and reading over all of Kara’s words finally got Lena writing.

She had meant it when she said she wanted to see Kara soon, once the project she was working on was done. She had melted over their playful fantasizing about a life in a little cottage and basked in Kara’s glowing words. Talking to Kara really was the perfect remedy to her mother’s verbal poison, just as she suspected.

That last letter from Kara, though, sparked something in her. Something she didn’t like. Her first thought, and the one that stuck with her while she read it aloud then was to demand answers. Then, she was absolutely certain that Kara had figured her out. Kara found the one thing that would break Lena’s resolve, to get her to do her bidding. Kara knew how Lena felt.

Coldness fell over Lena when she accepted that reality. This whole time, Kara and her friends, obviously Alex, had been trying to find a new way in. She thought Kara wouldn’t be capable of this, but she also believed Kara wasn’t capable of lying and deceiving her.

Lena crossed to her liquor cabinet, pulled out a bottle of scotch that was more Lex’s taste than her own, and poured a glass. She stared into it with her hands shaking, then downed the contents.

In a moment, she crossed through her apartment, grabbed her bag, and the door slammed shut.

* * *

Kara was staring open mouthed at Lena as she pulled her earbuds out. Now she heard the clicking of red-soled heels, Lena’s pounding heart, and even the shaking of the paper in Lena’s hand. The shaking of… Kara’s letter. “I didn’t expec--”

“What the hell is this, Kara?” Lena asked, holding up the letter. Her hair was falling out of the pony tail she wore it in, as though she had been digging her hands into it as she waited for Kara to return home. Her face was tinted pink and her jaw tight with the effort of holding tears in. “You think this is going to fix it all?” She scoffed, and let out a mirthless laugh. “You think you tell me you love me, I’ll melt and profess my own love, and you can go back to spying on me?” she spat out. She opened her mouth again to continue, but Kara finally cut her off

“Lena, no!” she cried desperately. “I swore I’d never lie to you again.” She was talking quickly, hoping to get in before more doubts could take over Lena’s mind. “And if not telling you everything about who I am is lying by omission, then telling you that my feelings for you are strictly that of a best friend would also be lying.” Kara stepped toward Lena, but Lena stepped backwards and held her hand up, demanding space. Kara stopped, but lifted both of her hands, pleading with Lena. “I’m not spying on you. Why…” she sighed and shook her head. “I’m so confused, Lena… I’m sorry if what I said was unwelcome, but would you rather I didn’t say anything at all?”

Lena’s jaw was twitching in tension now. “Unwelcome?” she asked, a bubble of mirthless laughter escaping. “We’re hardly friends. More like pen pals, fantasizing about a fictional future in which we meet and it’s not uncomfortable. As though meeting won’t ruin everything. In what world would a misguided admission of love, true or not, be welcome?”

“Misguided?” Kara repeated, indignant.

“Yes, Kara. Misguided. It…” Lena opened the letter again, despite both of them knowing it was unnecessary. “It took your  _ sister _ for you to realize you’re ‘in love’ with me?”

“Oh, because you’re an expert on feelings, right?” Kara asked before she could stop herself. “Super in touch with yours and other people’s feelings. That’s the first way people would describe you.” Kara didn’t want to spit up those sarcastic comments, but she couldn’t help herself.

“Well…” Lena said, pursing her lips. Her eyes narrowed in a way Kara associated with Lena about to cut someone down, and Kara was physically bracing for the verbal hit. “I never needed someone to tell me what I feel. So…” She shook her head, pulled her purse a little higher on her shoulder, and made to leave. For a moment, Kara was prepared for Lena to shove the letter into Kara’s chest. Lena, it seemed, was prepared to do the same. But once they were shoulder to shoulder, Lena neatly refolded the letter with shaking fingers and tucked it back into her bag. Then, she was gone.


	2. Listening to Lena

“Woah, Lena, slow down,” Sam coaxed softly, an obvious motherly tone in her voice.

Lena’s pacing slowed, which Sam was grateful for -- those towering heels Lena was so fond of always had Sam picturing broken ankles, especially when Lena’s  _ pace, pivot, pace _ pattern was looking more like a perverse jog.

“Thank you,” Sam sighed. “Now, go back. You and Kara were writing letters? That’s good, right?”

Lena groaned softly, but Sam’s forever patient smile didn’t change. Lena took a breath, then another. “I guess, yes,” she admitted, then sighed. “Okay, fine. It was great. It stopped us from yelling at each other and actually let us talk about things. I’ve missed her. The person I  _ thought _ she was, at least…” Lena looked out Sam’s office window, to the city of Metropolis she dropped in on. She terrified Sam’s assistant by demanding to see her, and even more so when Sam said to just clear her day after one look in her friend’s eyes. Now, Lena wouldn’t look at her. She knew she’d find a kind, yet challenging look of disbelief in familiar eyes. “It was starting to feel normal. The urge to text her and see her… it didn’t make me sad or angry anymore. And then…”

Lena seemed to search for words -- or wish Sam would guess them. She stayed silent though, and Lena pinched the bridge of her nose. Finally, she reached into her purse that had been dropped unceremoniously into a chair in the CFO’s office. Lena withdrew the letter and handed it, still folded, to Sam.

Sam opened the letter gingerly and studied it before actually reading. She noticed the care with which the letter had been re-folded; the light creases where Lena had gripped the letter. Then, she read slowly. Much too slowly for Lena’s taste. Sam’s expression stayed almost stoic. Hell, if it weren’t so dire for Lena personally, she’d be amused by an expression Sam so clearly learned from her. Lena couldn’t watch her any longer, so she went back to studying the skyline that was once her home. Because of this, she missed that Sam was now looking at her. Sam watched Lena, weighing her options, before setting the letter down on her desk with a small, patient smile.

“I’m confused,” Sam said. “Isn’t this a  _ good _ thing? Kara loves you.” She stopped herself from saying ‘too’ just now.

Lena’s eyes flashed to Sam then, a startling combination of terror, anger, and a bit of wistfulness in emerald eyes. “I don’t… why would that… it’s outrag-... did you read--?”

Sam held up a hand. She was apparently one of the few outside her family unafraid to interrupt her. Lena didn’t get the twisting disappointment in her gut when Sam did it though. Not like when Lillian would brush over her. In fact, it barely reminded her of that.

“Before you pass out from lack of oxygen during your stammering… would you like me to go back to pretending that you haven’t been completely in love with Kara Danvers for several years? Because I could, but that seems awfully counterproductive right now.” Her voice was soft, her tone slightly teasing to take the edge off. Her face was set in a kind, almost nurturing expression that did nothing to alleviate Lena’s panic.

Lena’s eyes widened in a way Sam would definitely tease her for later. “I… I don’t…” Sam’s slight eyebrow raise shut Lena up for a moment. Then, finally, “I stopped loving her when I found out how much she’s lied to me. How easy playing me like that was.” Her throat wanted to close around the untrue words.

“No you didn’t,” Sam said softly, without accusation. “You wanted to, more than I think you’ve wanted anything in a long time. But you didn’t.”

Lena was silent for several breaths, then she slowly sank down on the plush couch in Sam’s office. Sam rose from her desk, went to the small cabinet near Lena, then moved a few bottles around to pull out the good scotch. She set a tumbler with a large pour down in front of Lena, along with the letter, before taking a seat next to Lena. She squeezed Lena’s shoulder, and sat with her until Lena was ready to talk again.

Finally, after a few sips of scotch and several minutes of Lena studying the neatly scrawled “ _ I love you, Lena. I love you in a way I’ve never felt before. I’m in love with you, Lena Keiran Luthor”  _ on the letter, she sighed as a tear fell. She didn’t bother to hastily wipe it away. Not in front of Sam. “She lied to me. She lied to me over and over. She lied to me as easily as… as… as easily as Lillian lies to me,” she said softly as she stared still at Kara’s declaration. “I never thought…” she took a long drink, then sighed as the smokey flavor and hints of sea air slid down her throat to ease the emotions into words. “I always trusted her. I never second guessed her. And now… I can’t even believe this,” she whispered and gestured to the paper with her glass.

Sam, again, watched Lena. Finally, she nodded. “Okay, we’ll come back to you not believing Kara’s feelings. You just gave me a lot to unpack.” They both chuckled dryly and took a sip. “Do you really think it was easy for Kara to lie to you?” When Lena opened her mouth, she pushed forward. “No, think about it, Lena,” she insisted. “You came to me when you found out and listed off all of her little slip ups, mistakes, the glasses, all the reasons why you should have known. And yes, there were a lot of them. Do you think Kara slipped up like that in front of Cat Grant? If it was easy for her to lie to you, do you think she’d visit you at work as both Kara and Supergirl, or give Supergirl’s public support to you? It seems to me she did everything but outright tell you. She wasn’t any different with you. Would you have been different with her?” Sam didn’t want an answer to that, so again, she pushed on. “Kara is nothing like your mother. She doesn’t do things with malicious intent.”

Lena stared at her glass for a long moment, then gave one nod. Sam knew she wouldn’t get more from Lena on that than a non-argument, so she took it as a win and continued. “Why don’t you believe she loves you? Because I’m fairly certain we could get a line of people, including your  _ ex-boyfriend _ to say they’ve seen this for years.”

Lena started to shake her head. No way had she missed it. But that was beside the point now. “It took her god damn meddling, manipulative, mistrustful sister for her to even consider it, Sam!” she said in exasperation. “What if this is a lie too? What if this is just another way to keep tabs on me?”

“Lena…” Sam’s voice was soft, deep, and desperately trying to cover up her alarm. “You know Kara. You. Know. Kara. She doesn’t have a manipulative bone in her body. It’s not in her nature. She’s not capable of that.”

“Her sister is…” Lena said darkly, almost grumbling into her scotch.

“No she isn’t,” Sam said, nearly chastising her friend. “Alex is overly protective and, yes, mistrustful, but she isn’t maniacal. She’s not… Lex.”

“Lena’s eyes flashed with a warning, but still, she conceded the point. “Still though, Kar needed her sister to tell her. Then she just puts it in a letter? She can’t figure out her own feelings. And if I’m the emotionally aware one in a relationship, something is very wrong.”

“Okay, so yes. It was tactless. But when has anyone ever accused Kara Danvers of being tactful?” That pulled a smile from Lena, despite herself. "Listen, Lena... The thing you don't get... Kryptonians don't think about themselves first. And you can't compare her to her cousin. Her cousin is essentially human. An adult convert to a religion, if you will. Kryptonians first thing always, is duty. Kara finally talking to Alex about all of this... Kara needed permission to think about herself. Because her duty tells her not to love. Not here, on Earth, at least. Her duty here is to protect. I'm not saying this is a good quality. I think that quality is a large reason why Krypton died. But Kryptonians aren't human. Their... Our... Brains work a little differently. Kara has a duty, and loving you goes against that duty. Alex essentially gave her permission to refocus that duty... To you."

Lena scoffed, but Sam talked over her objections. "No. No scoffing. I've seen you pining over her for years. And all the qualities you love about her are due to, in large part, the fact that she was raised Kryptonian. Even once she came to live with the Danvers, she was always Kryptonian. Duty, honor, valor... Most humans don't care about these things anymore. Kryptonians do. You can't love the things about her that come from Krypton without embracing the fact that, whether you like it or not, Kara Danvers is not human. She's an alien. An alien you have loved for years.” Sam fell silent for a moment, then finished her scotch. “The question you have to answer for yourself, is whether or not you can continue loving her knowing she’s an alien. Whether or not you want what it means to have a relationship with someone you know to be an alien.”

“Sam, you know that’s not--”

“I won’t take offense, Lena. Our relationship is different. But some of the things you’ve said suggest you wouldn’t have gotten as close to Kara if you knew she was Supergirl.” She sighed softly. “Kara has put the ball in your court, Luthor. You have complete control over your relationship with her. She loves you, but isn’t expecting anything. You can be her friend, you can get into a relationship I know you’ve been dreaming about, but you have to do it with all of her. The Kryptonian part, the tactless part, the part that is Alex Danvers’ sister. Or, you can walk away. But that’s a choice only you can make.”

Lena sat there for several moments, then nodded a few times and finished her drink. She smiled, almost sadly, at Sam. “You always know how to talk sense into me,” she murmured. “I should have come to you before going to her.” 

Sam laughed and squeezed Lena’s knee. “That’s what I’m here for.” Sam paused. “Wait… you talked to her?”

Lena grimaced. “Yeah. It was… bad. And I said a lot of things I shouldn’t have. Can we not talk about it? I have to find a way to apologize to her for it, and I don’t need you thinking less of me for it.”

Sam watched her for a moment, then nodded. “Yes, of course. Let’s go pull my kid out of school so you can spoil her. Maybe the teenager she’s become will actually let us go shopping with her for once,” she joked. 

Lena smiled widely, and leaned into Sam. It was a silent ‘thank you’ between friends, one Lena wasn’t sure she could ever fully express. 

* * *

Alex grabbed the Catan box off of the counter, then carried it to Kelly and Kara seated around the coffee table. As they unpacked the box and began to set up the game, Alex looked to Kara. “So, how’s your penpal?” she asked dryly.

Kara shifted and opened up the rules packet, which was suspicious enough to draw both Kelly and Alex’s attention. “Kara…” Alex pushed, her eyebrows raised.

Kara sighed, then put the packet down. “I uh…”she fiddled with her glasses. “I told her. I told her I’m in love with her. And then she came over and yelled at me.”

Kelly began repacking the game silently. “You did  _ what? _ ” Alex asked. “When?”

“Uhm. Two weeks ago?” Kara said. “She was really mad at me. Why did you have to tell me? I was perfectly fine not knowing. She hasn’t spoken to me since.”

Kelly stood. “I’m going to go get us some burgers. You two talk. Don’t make this worse,” she said to Alex.

Alex sent Kelly a look that obviously read  _ don’t you dare leave me to clean this up _ but Kelly merely kissed her, grabbed her purse, and left.

“I didn’t tell you to go tell her,” Alex defended, despite the fact that she was shocked Lena didn’t jump Kara then and there. “I thought you guys were just writing letters. What did you do, run into her on the street and blurt it?”

“Uh…” Kara shifted again and played with her glasses.

“Oh god. You did.”

“No!” Kara said quickly. “I… wrote it in a letter. I thought it was very well written,” she defended. “Why did you have to tell me?” Kara asked, throwing a pillow at her. “I can’t stop thinking about her now. And not just the usual way.  _ Now _ I realize I probably shouldn’t think about how perfect her skin is or how perfectly it fits when i hug her… or what it would be like to kiss her. Or what it would be like to --”

“Please don’t finish that,” Alex interrupted. 

Kara blushed. “I just… she’s all I think about now, Alex. And… she’s all I thought about before but now I know why.” She sighed softly, then buried her face in her hands. “I was done with this, you know? I stopped wanting it. It’s not something that’s going to happen for me. It can’t. But now I want it with her. And it’s your fault,” Kara accused.

Alex had the decency to look a little guilty. “Would you really rather not know, knowing most of your friends know?” she sighed. “Maybe I shouldn’t have told you and let you figure it out, but….” she shrugged, as though that gesture explained her thought process.

“Everyone knows?” Kara asked, horrified.

Alex nodded. “Maggie and I used to have a running bet. Sam always knew. I think James did…” She sighed. “Kelly figured it out real quick.”

Kara flopped backwards. “Great,” she muttered. She looked at Alex. “And now she won’t even talk to me. She seemed so mad. That you had to help me figure it out, that I said anything… but if not telling her I’m Supergirl was lying, then saying she’s my best friend and not adding exactly how I feel would be lying in her eyes too, right? Even if nothing would every happen, she deserved to know, right?”

Alex sighed, then shrugged. “I don’t know. That’s always tricky. Knowing Lena, she probably would be upset if she found out and you didn’t tell her. But it’s always hard to maintain friendships like that, when feelings are lopsided,” Alex said. “Why do you think nothing can happen?” she asked, with some hesitation.

Kara looked incredulous. “Because… Well… Alex, I could accidentally kill her. She could be in so much danger. She…” Kara stopped suddenly, her head tilted. Alex recognized the look; her sister was listening.

“What is it? Is Supergirl needed? I can back you up.”

Kara shook her head and lowered her glasses to look through her wall. “No,” she murmured, then stood and went very slowly toward the door. It opened before she got there. Kelly stepped in, followed by a very nervous looking Lena. “Look who I found,” Kelly said, unnecessarily. Lena was holding identical food bags to the ones in Kelly’s hands, and Lena set hers down on the table, but Kelly never put hers down. She looked between the three all standing around awkwardly -- Kara and Lena stared at each other, then would quickly look to either a spot on the floor or wall, and Alex watched the two of them. “Alex, let’s take our dinner to your place,” Kelly said firmly.

“No,” Alex said simply and just as firmly. Her eyes narrowed at Lena. 

“Alex.”

“But--”

“We can play Settlers another day. Let’s go.”

“Alex sighed softly and stood. “Call me later,” she murmured to her sister before leaving with her girlfriend, trying to ask her what was going on.

Once the door closed, Lena ran a hand through her hair and sighed. “So she still hates me,” she commented. Her joking tone fell flat.

“No she doesn’t. She’s just--”

“Protective,” Lena finished for her. “I know.”

They stood there, staring at each other, for a few more moments. “So… what’s up?” Kara asked lamely.

Lena swallowed hard. “Those things I said to you…” Kara noticed Lena’s heart rate speed up when Lena locked eyes with her, but those beautiful emerald eyes were already focused back to something over Kara’s shoulder. “Saying you were misguided and… and yelling at you for just… just telling me how you feel…” Lena started to pick lightly at her nails. Kara desperately wanted to go to her to help calm her down, but something kept her rooted to her spot. “It was wrong of me. While I may have felt your admission was… ill timed… yelling at you wasn’t right. Just because talking to your sister helped you… figure things out…” Lena cleared her throat. “That didn’t make it misguided. I was upset and confused and…. But none of that gives me the right to yell at you or question how you feel in any way.” Lena finished her speech by finally making eye contact with Kara, and Kara had to look away after a moment to collect herself.

Kara took a deep breath, focusing on Lena’s heart beat for a moment to ground herself. “Why did it upset you so much?” Kara asked.

Lena should have been prepared for this question. She really should have. She swallowed hard and cursed her own heart for picking up its pace again. Now that she knew Kara could hear it… well, she was sure it’d give her away. “I just… I wasn’t expecting it,” she lied. Sam had been right. Lena needed to know the real Kara before she did anything. She needed to know exactly what loving a Kryptonian would mean. And she’d be damned if she went to Clark and Lois for that. “I thought maybe…” she sighed. “I thought you were just saying whatever you could to fix things. And I didn’t trust that it was true. But… you’re still you. And you wouldn’t lie about how you feel.”

“No, I wouldn’t,” Kara said. She heard the shifts of Lena's voice, in her heart beat, and saw the signs of Lena looking away, but she assumed it was just nerves. Not lying. They stayed there for another moment, and Kara’s eyes drifted to the bags of food. “Is there a reason that looks like even more food than I could eat?” she asked awkwardly.

Lena smiled at Kara’s attempt at normalcy. “Look um… I ran into Kelly, literally, outside as she was leaving. She said that if I came with her, I could get us dinner and she could get Alex to leave without incident so…” she gestured to the bag of food. “I assume you’re hungry?” she asked. “Oh.” She went to an unmarked paper bag and pulled out a bottle of wine and a beer bottle. She handed the latter to Kara. “Sam suggested this for you. It’s kind of like a cider, so it’s sweet.”

Kara took the bottle and looked it over. She recognized the label from the alien bar. “I… don’t really understand,” Kara finally said. “Why…” she gestured to the food her nervous stomach was still grumbling for. “I mean… we haven’t…”

Lena looked a little guilty, and finally saved Kara from failing to find the right words. “I shouldn’t have yelled at you. We were doing so well with the not yelling,” she said with a small laugh. “What you said -- well, wrote-- it shocked me. But you were just being honest, which is what I always wanted from you.” She rubbed the back of her neck. “I talked to Sam, because when I can’t talk to you, she’s the only one I trust, and she pointed out that I need to get to know you as you. As an alien. Not that… I mean…” Lena groaned. “I’m not saying this right. I realized that we’d share wine but wine doesn’t do anything for you. Which is probably why you switch to juice or water. So….”

Kara smiled softly while Lena spoke, but it grew wider. “So what you’re trying to say, is you miss me and want to hang out,” Kara said. Her wide smile had turned slightly teasing.

“Yes,” Lena sighed out, her shoulders relaxing in relief. 

Kara smiled widely, then brought her hand up to her ear and pressed lightly to engage her comms. “This is Supergirl. I’m out for the night. Have Danvers call me in an emergency.” Kara paused for a moment, then rolled her eyes. “Alex, take out your comms and pay attention to your girlfriend, I’m fine.” With that, she pulled the small piece out of her ear and rested it on the counter. “I’m all yours. I’m guessing we shouldn’t play a competitive board game tonight?” she joked. 

Lena laughed. “I almost watched a musical without you recently,” she admitted. Lena relaxed even further when Kara pulled out the corkscrew. She watched Kara study the handle, which was meant for opening bottle tops, and her own bottle.

“Really? Which musical?” she asked, a little distracted by her bottle. Kara stared at it for a few more seconds before she looked up to Lena, biting her lip. “So, I have this really nasty habit of breaking bottles when I try and do this,” she admitted, then held them both out to Lena. “Do you mind?”

Lena was shocked, but then smiled and opened both the beer bottle and her wine with ease. “Uh.. Johnny Depp was killing people. It was on TV, I changed the channel though,” she admitted. “I never realized the difficulties that came with your powers,” she commented as Kara grabbed the bags of food and carried them to the couch.

“Sweeney Todd! It’s so good. We’ll watch it sometime.” Kara shrugged. “The Danvers helped me control most of them, but some little things just… don’t work,” she said with a small chuckle. “I can’t tell you how many staplers I broke at Cat Grant’s assistant.”

Lena would have been surprised by how easily they slipped back into themselves, but she knew they would. She knew from the moment she stepped into Kara’s apartment and felt at home. When she saw the blonde smile fully or laugh, or how they leaned into each other as they giggled over pictures of Ruby looking so  _ not amused _ by her mom and Lena joking around  _ in public _ . They got caught up on each other’s lives as they ate and drank, and soon Lena could easily forget that they had spent months not speaking. “So, what are we watching tonight? Please, not Wizard of Oz again,” she teased. 

Kara bit her lip. “Actually, I realized a few months ago that there’s something you haven’t seen. And really need to,” she murmured. She slowly got up off the couch, careful not to jostle Lena too much. Soon, she was pulling out a DVD and was just as quickly back in her seat with a glass of water. 

“You don’t want another cider?” she asked. “I brought you a six pack. Is it okay?” Lena asked curiously.

Kara blushed, deeply. “Alex has informed me that I have the alcohol tolerance of an eighteen year old during pledge week, whatever that means,” she murmured. “One drink is usually all I do,” she admitted. “Though it’s pretty rare that I have alien alcohol to begin with.”

Lena smiled, then nodded. “Good to know. Keep bringing chocolate milk,” she joked, then turned to the screen. “ _ Dr. Horrible’s Sing Along Blog _ ?” she read. “What the hell are you getting me into?”

“Trust me,” Kara said as she hit play. “You’re going to love it.”

Five minutes into the movie, Lena hit Kara’s arm, ignoring the popping sound from her knuckles when she made contact with Kara’s bicep. “I cannot believe you’ve made me watch Wizard of Oz twenty times and you’ve never once shown me this,” she hissed. And almost every five minutes, she hit Kara lightly again, muttering the same exact thing. Lena was in hysterics for most of it, and tried not to look at Kara wistfully during  _ My Eyes _ . If that wasn’t the epitome of them... It was over far too fast, in Lena’s opinion. They switched to a DIY show so they could talk and Lena smirked lightly. Kara knew the look. She was about to be made fun of. “You know…” Lena said. “Captain Hammer kind of reminds me of Mon-El,” she said.

Kara’s water ended up somewhere in her nasal passages. “ _ What _ ?” she coughed. “How?”

Lena laughed softly. “You know… always where he’s least wanted, getting in the way, never actually fully saving the day,” she murmured. Lena’s face fell slightly when she remembered something, though. “I’m sorry I made you make the decision to--”

Kara cut her off. “That’s a long time ago. You have nothing to apologize for,” Kara said. 

They continued to talk for a while, laughing over the movie or nothing at all. Soon, Lena fell asleep slumped against Kara while someone tore down drywall on the TV. Kara smiled and kissed the top of Lena’s head, then shifted to pull Lena into her arms and carry her to bed. She laid Lena down, pulled the blanket over her, and went back to the couch to sleep there. Maybe, just maybe, she wouldn’t lose her best friend.

Maybe, just maybe, loving her best friend wouldn’t break her heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lena thinks she's Dr. Horrible. End of story.


	3. Caring for Kara

Lena woke up dazed, a little confused, and alone in Kara’s bed. She knew it was Kara’s from the ever present smell of strawberries and… Lena turned her face into the pillow and took a deep breath, her lazy smile hidden by the pillow. Strawberries and… Cheetos? Lena giggled sleepily. Of course Kara would eat Cheetos in bed. Lena sunk into the overly soft pillows, her sleepy brain equating being wrapped up in Kara’s blankets to being wrapped in Kara’s arms, where she really wanted to be. Just as Lena realized that the other side of the bed was cold, so Kara hadn’t been there, Lena heard what must have woken her.

_ “No. Please.” _ Kara’s voice was weak, and the plea was followed by a series of whimpers. 

Lena got out of bed quickly now. With only a few steps, she could see Kara, laying on the couch and clutching a pillow to her chest. Her face wasn’t relaxed in sleep, but contorted in an agony Lena had never seen on the blonde’s face. Kara’s head tossed away from Lena as she mumbled again “ _ No. please... Mom, I don’t…” _

There was little Super or otherworldly about Kara now. She was just a girl, having a nightmare. Probably about the day she left home. Lena’s stomach twisted in pity and understanding. She could easily picture the dream Kara was having - Lena frequently had her own of the day her mother died. A few more whimpers came from Kara while memories of Lena’s own recurring nightmares tried to flash in her mind, but Kara’s next plea of “ _ Don’t hurt her…” _ got Lena moving.

She walked quickly to Kara and crouched by the couch. She gently shook her shoulder, then ran a hand through Kara’s soft hair. “Kar… you’re dreaming, wake up,” she coaxed. “It’s just a dream, wake up,” she said gently.

It happened suddenly. Kara sat bolt upright, the rage on her face only worsened by the burning red coals in place of previously beautiful blue eyes. They were aimed right at Lena, and Lena stumbled backwards in fear and shock, knocking into the cluttered coffee table behind her. She had forgotten, seeing Kara so scared while asleep, that she had super powers. Her heart rate doubled in an instant, but Lena’s worry pushed through her fear. She surged forward again and cupped Kara’s cheek before talking fast. “Kar, hey, it’s me. It’s Lena,” she gasped. “You’re okay. You’re safe. Sweetheart, it was just a dream.” Lena continued to murmur reassuring words as Kara’s eyes returned to normal.

Kara sprang from the couch in horror, crossing the room so quickly that Lena’s hand was still raised to where Kara’s cheek had been. “ _ Rao _ I’m  _ so _ sorry,” Kara gasped as tears streaked down her cheek. “I didn’t mean to,” she said desperately. Lena looked to Kara now, seeing her hands pressing hard into her eyes. “I didn’t mean to fall asleep.”

“What do you mean, you didn’t mean to fall asleep?” Lena asked gently. She moved to Kara, and placed a hand on Kara’s back. She had to shake off the sting when Kara flinched away from her touch.

“I could have hurt you. Killed you…”

“But you didn’t. And you wouldn’t.” Desperate to care for Kara in some way, Lena went to the kitchen and began to boil water for some tea. She placed two bags of chamomile in mugs, allowing Kara a few moments to collect herself.

“But I could have. And you know it. I scared you.” Lena raised a questioning eyebrow as she poured the steaming water into each mug. “Your heartbeat. It’s racing,” she explained.

Lena took a breath. “I’m worried about you,” she said and came to her. She handed Kara a mug. “Do you not sleep when we have a sleepover?” she asked. “Because of nightmares?”

Kara didn’t make eye contact, but nodded. “Obviously I can’t control my powers when I’m asleep. And the nightmares…” she shrugged and took a sip of her tea. “They come and go. So I never sleep deep enough to dream if I’m near a human. Even Alex. I don’t need to sleep as much as you do.”

“Kara, that’s ridiculous,” Lena said immediately. “Do you mean that… when… when you’ve dated humans you never…”

Kara blushed deeply, then shook her head. “I mean, I obviously had… experiences. Bad ones,” she murmured. “But… I can’t. I thought I could with Mon-El but…. I think most of the attraction there was that I wasn’t afraid of breaking him.” She led Lena back to the couch and sat down, keeping a distance between them. “That’s partly why I just… It’s never going to happen for me. Having someone. I’ve known that for a long time.”

Lena sat with a foot of unnecessary space between them. She needed that space. She needed all the air she could get after feeling like her oxygen had been beaten from her. “What… you…” she cleared her throat and took a sip from her mug. The hot liquid scalded away the lump suddenly lodged in her throat. “If you… if you really think that why did you tell me… tell me how you feel?” she whispered.

Kara’s beautiful blue eyes flashed to Lena for only a moment, nearly threatening to shatter what was left of Lena’s resolve. “I told you why,” Kara sighed, almost brokenly. “You deserved to know. I was telling you that you’re my best friend and while you are, obviously those feelings are different.” Kara sighed softly and pinched the bridge of her nose before putting her glasses back on. “I told you I’d never lie to you or keep anything from you again. So when I realized what I was feeling, then of course I had to tell you. I didn’t tell you so something would happen between us. That’s off the table. It was never on the table. I know that.” Kara paused. “I’ve known a romantic life for me is out of the question since Mon-El left. I’m an alien. I’m a danger to people. I was never meant to be on this planet and there’s just… some things that I don’t get to have. A partner, a family other than what I have now. I don’t get that. It doesn’t matter that I want it.”

Lena was overly grateful for Kara’s distress now. It was on the table for Lena. It had always been on the table. She looked away from the blonde and took a couple breaths before having to wipe quickly under her eyes. “I don’t understand,” she said finally. “Your cousin has it. He’s got Lois and Conner. Other aliens here have it. Why don’t you get it?”

Kara took her glasses off again and rubbed her face. “Kal-El was raised here,” she sighed. “A lot of aliens were. You don’t see news of random spaceships crashing very often,” she murmured. “Kal-El’s powers came in like… puberty changes. He learned how to control them as he grew up. His whole life is here. He doesn’t have memories of a dying planet and parents he actually knew. I do. I have a language and a religion that’s completely dead. I have memories of science and mathematics that won’t exist here for likely several centuries. I know the name of the boy that was statistically perfect for me to mate with,” Kara swallowed hard, then looked up at Lena. “There are two halves of me. And sometimes I think one half died with Krypton.”

Lena stared at Kara in shock for a moment, then reached forward. She took Kara’s hand to get her attention, then reached up to cup her cheek. “Listen to me,” she whispered. “You are a whole person, Kara. You are a whole person. A wonderful person. A person who deserves everything in life.”

Kara bit her lip, then shrugged and looked down. Lena craved the eye contact, but let it drop.

“Don’t hide the part that came from Krypton from me,” Lena requested, even if it felt like a plea ripped straight from her soul. “You don’t have to.”  _ Because I love you too. _ Lena couldn’t say it. Not now. Not knowing that Kara thought her life was meant to be spent alone. 

Lena wanted to see exactly what being with Kara would mean. Kara the Kryptonian. Kara the reporter. Kara the beautiful, tormented person sitting in front of her. But Lena also knew that if she told Kara she wanted that, Kara would probably shut down. She’d hide it all from her in her desperate attempt to save absolutely everyone but herself, regardless if they actually needed it. When she saw Kara wipe quickly at her cheeks, Lena smiled a little sadly. “Come here,” she offered, opening her arms to Kara. Kara, for her part, only hesitated for a moment before shifting over and curling into Lena’s arms. Lena rubbed Kara’s back, smoothed her hair, and may have dropped a few kisses to the top of Kara’s head until she calmed down.

“I’m sorry,” Kara mumbled as she pulled back, quickly wiping her tears on the collar of her shirt.

“Oh, stop,” Lena said warmly. “How many times have I cried on you? It’s about time I got to return the favor,” she teased.

Kara chuckled softly, and shook her head. “You should go back to sleep. It’s the middle of the night. I’ll be fine, I’m just going to watch TV. Maybe work on a story.”

Lena grinned at Kara. “So this is how you get it all done. You just don’t sleep? I seem to recall you forcing me to eat and sleep… hypocrite.” Lena chuckled softly. “I know, I know. Human vs super powered alien. Still.” She paused for a moment. “You know… I get nightmares too. It’s so hard to calm down after them, and I don’t wake up ready to blast a hole in the ceiling. Is there really… nothing you can do about that? I just… it must be really terrible.”

Kara shrugged. “Sometimes it’s not so bad. Sometimes I float in my sleep. That can come in handy when I’m sleeping somewhere else, like the DEO or on Alex’s awful couch. It doesn’t matter how not comfy the place is. Honestly, what can be worse is not turning off the hearing. I hear...” Kara blushed, “the neighbors. Doing things. Like… most nights. And I… really don’t want to. I’m terrified to fly by Alex’s building when I know Kelly is there.” She sighed softly. “I guess it’d be great to actually hug someone fully once in a while. Not have to hold back.”

Lena could tell Kara was deflecting, but let her. Kara rarely complained, and Lena knew she was feeling far too vulnerable now to do so. So, she nodded, then smiled. “Come on, I never sleep either. Let’s just watch TV.”

It took only about twenty minutes for Lena to shift a pillow into her lap and coax Kara to lay down. When Kara started to fight to keep her eyes open, Lena smiled lovingly at her. “Kar, I’m a light sleeper. You know that. I’ll wake you up if you even start mumbling. Unless you’re saying something funny,” she said with a smile.

Kara slept then, but Lena didn’t. She gently carded her hand through soft blonde hair and stared at the TV without watching it.

If they wanted a chance to be together, Lena would have to convince Kara that she wouldn’t be putting Lena in danger to sleep next to each other. Lena’s cheeks burned slightly at the implication, but still, she smiled. The most straight-forward way to do so… would be to create dampeners. A dampener that didn’t actually hurt her, just turned down her powers. Turned them down enough so Kara would sleep without worrying, and maybe hear a little less from the surrounding area.

Lena could do that. Somehow. If it meant a life and family with Kara, Lena would figure it out.

* * *

Lena stood in her lab, looking down at all the information she could convince Alex to give her from the DEO. She told the agent that she was only working on more anti-Kryptonite gear. She was well aware that Alex likely wouldn’t trust her to create a dampener. 

“Tell me again why you’re not just using the dampeners the DEO created?” Sam asked from where she sat on the table, sipping her whiskey. 

“From what I can tell, they use a small amount of Kryptonite. And a shit ton of power that just could not be supported in a residential setting without setting off like every red flag in the book,” Lena explained without looking up. She was grateful that Sam came when Lena told her what she was planning. “I won’t use Kryptonite on her and there has to be a way not to. There has to be a way to do so without needing its own power grid.” She ran her hand over her tight ponytail, wishing she could take it out.

“Also, how are you planning to test this?” Sam asked. “Anti-Kryptonite, you just try to neutralize the properties. This is… much bigger. You know, you could tell Kara what you’re doing. Tell her  _ why _ you’re doing it. Tell Alex why.”

Lena scoffed and looked up at Sam. “Are you going to help me or just keep telling me this isn’t going to work? And you know damn well I can’t tell them. Kara will make me stop and go on that bullshit again about how she can’t be with anyone and Alex will send me to some black site for even suggesting I have a relationship with her sister. If she found out I was trying to make a dampener, she’d immediately assume it was to neutralize Kara for some evil activities and you know it.”

“Tell me, have you considered how you and Kara will have a relationship when you’re both the most stubborn people I’ve ever met?” Sam quipped, ignoring the glare from Lena. “Or the fact that the biggest obstacle facing you is the fact that you can’t be left alone with the most important person in the world to her? You know you’re going to have to face Alex eventually.”

“That’s a two way street. It’s not like Alex has tried either.”

“A two way street that you’ve also blocked. Just… think about it. Alex is way too important to Kara for you two to constantly be at odds.”

Lena blew out a breath. “I know,” she muttered. “Can you please help me with this? It’s pointless if I don’t get this figured out.”

Sam picked up a stack of papers to start to scan them. “Well…Taking her powers away without hurting her is new. So let’s start with something not new. What do they do when she loses her powers… what stupid thing does she call it? Solar flare?”

Lena’s lips twitched in a smile. “Her cousin called it that first. She thinks it’s stupid too.” She sighed. “Yellow sun lamps. They replicate the radiation from our sun… Hand me that file,” she requested, pointing to one on the other side of Sam.

* * *

Alex sat down on the couch and took a swig of water. “So you never called me after I left. Did you and Lena scream at each other, or kiss and make up? Please, no details if it’s the latter.”

Kara sighed softly. “It’s not like that and you know it. We talked, we’re… I guess friends again?” she shook her head. “She apologized for freaking out, we talked, then we watched a movie. I… well… she fell asleep on the couch. I carried her to my bed because I know she’s got a bad back. Then I fell asleep on the couch and had a nightmare in front of her.”

Alex winced. “Heat vision?” she guessed. Kara nodded. “So… she freaked out and left?”

Kara shook her head. “No. She calmed me down. We talked a little more. She seemed confused why I told her how I felt when I know I can’t have a relationship with anyone. Then we fell asleep on the couch again and she had to leave early for a meeting.”

Alex was silent for a moment. “That’s it?” she asked. “No confessions of love from her?”

Kara sighed and leveled a rather non-threatening glare at Alex. “She doesn’t feel that way. Even if she did, she gets it. I can’t… we never could…”

“Oh, don’t try and glare at me. You look like a puppy who wants its toy back.” She sighed. “I still think you’ve taken a ridiculous line on that, Kara. If you wanted to, you could. You’ve just made the decision…” she sighed and shook her head. “Nevermind. Did Lena mention what she’s working on? She asked me for information and some blood samples for you.”

Kara just shrugged. “Probably some anti-Kryptonite tech,” she said simply. “She never thinks she’s done with whatever she’s working on. Do you have enough samples?” 

Alex shook her head. “We’ll take some next time you’re in the training room. You’ve exhausted yourself too much lately, I don’t want to add to it, and that always exhausts you.” She paused. “You’re  _ sure _ you trust her enough to have samples right now?”

Kara rolled her eyes. “Yes, just give them to her. We can collect more next time we’re able,” she sighed. “You need to trust her again, too, Alex.”

"She didn't used to need them for anti-Kryptonite work," Alex pointed out, causing Kara to sigh.

"Alex, it's Lena. For all I know, she's trying to create a pill to block Kryptonite poisoning or testing for long term side effects from prolonged exposure. She's always miles ahead of us." She turned slightly and studied her sister. "I trust Lena with my life, Alex."

"And your self preservation skills are always so great?"

Kara couldn't help the laugh that escaped. "Fine. I trust her with Kal's. With yours."

Alex pursed her lips. "Fine. But I want to know what she's working on."

* * *

“Not that I don’t love coming to visit you, but it’s not like you need my help with this project. Why are you insistent that you need me?” Sam asked, sitting in her usual place in Lena’s lab four weeks after they came up with the idea. 

“Because it’s ready,” Lena said, looking over the device. She hadn’t touched a tool other than a screwdriver for the last twenty minutes. She couldn’t find anything to fix.

“Wait… you developed a form of radiation that doesn’t actually exist on this planet in a month?”

Lena just shrugged. “It’s not like I have a life. I see Kara once in a while, but... “ she shrugged. “I want to tell her how I feel. I…” she sighed, pulled off her glasses, and looked up at Sam. “I know she won’t want to hear it yet. She’ll just think it’s doomed. I have to make sure it’s not doomed.”

Sam nodded. “I get that. But it doesn’t explain why I’m here, Lena. If you say it’s done… you’ve already tested it.”

Lena nodded. “I have tested it. I’ve tested it on Kara’s blood, on human blood, and on human tissue to make sure there aren't any negative effects.”

“So…” Sam prompted. “Why are we in your stuffy dark lab and not getting a drink?”

“Because I haven’t tested it on Kara yet. And Alex is nicer when you’re around.”

“You seriously flew me and my kid across the entire country because you’re afraid of the big bad agent?” Sam’s laughter was poorly restrained.

“No, I flew you and your kid across the entire country so you can make fun of me,” Lena muttered. “You know as well as I do that if I show up to Kara’s place and test out power dampeners and Alex isn’t there, I’ll end up in a cell deep in the DEO until Kara finds out and forces Alex to let me go. So they’re coming here to test it out and Alex will chill a bit if you’re here because she’ll want to see Ruby.”

“Ah, so you flew us here to bribe Alex into submission with my kid.”

Lena finally cracked a smile. “You have to admit, it’s a good plan.”

“Doesn’t make you any less pathetic,” Sam laughed.

* * *

“So, why exactly do we need to go to Lena’s lab?” Alex asked, looking up from her desk at the DEO.

Kara shrugged. “Because she asked us to? Hurry up.”

“You didn’t ask her what she needs? Why _ I’m  _ needed? Maybe I should have a team on standby…”

Kara rolled her eyes. “She’s not about to ambush us, Alex. And people think I’m the dramatic one. It’s probably some anti-Kryptonite tech. Just calm down and grab your keys. She told me to come through the front door this time.”

Alex knew, more than she’d like to admit, that Kara would pick her up and fly her to Lena’s office. For the sake of discretion only, she grabbed her keys and followed Kara down to the SUV.

Kara smiled at Jess and waved. Jess merely nodded toward the door. “Go on in.”

Kara opened the door, sticking her head around it. She let out a squeal, which caused Alex to pull her gun and follow her in.

“Sam!” Kara yelled and pulled her in for a tight hug.

“Ribs, Kara,” Sam gasped, and smiled when Kara let her go. She turned to Alex and laughed, shaking her head. “Some things never change, huh, Alex? Put that damn thing away and come give me a hug.”

Alex did exactly as she was asked and gave Sam a hug. “It’s so good to see you. Why didn’t you tell me that you were in town? Is Ruby here?”

“Wow, thirty seconds and you’re already wanting me for my kid. I see how it is,” Sam teased. “She’s with a friend, I figured we’d all see each other later.”

Lena cleared her throat, immediately getting Kara’s attention and the other two looking to Lena a little more slowly. “I asked her not to say anything. She’s here helping me with a project and I know how well she can keep her mouth shut around you two.”

“I only just got here. It’s not like I’ve been hiding in this office,” Sam amended.

Kara raised her eyebrows and kept her attention on Lena. “A project. Is this why you needed blood samples?”

Lena nodded. Kara noticed the spike in her heart rate. Lena was nervous, but trying not to show it. “One second,” she said. She went to her lab, placed her palm on the scanner, and disappeared into the lead lined room. She reemerged moments later with something resembling a Hymilaian Salt Lamp in her hands.

She set it down on her desk and swallowed hard. Maybe doing this in front of Alex and Sam was a bad idea. She couldn’t talk as openly in front of them. Definitely not Alex. Not if she was going to interrupt her every thirty seconds.

“Uh… what is-” Alex started, pulling Lena from her nerves just enough to glare at the agent. Her look softened when Kara placed a hand on her arm.

“After I stayed at your place that night last month, it got me thinking,” Lena said, keeping her eyes on Kara instead of the others in the room. “You were so scared. So worked up. You can never just… disconnect. Your hearing, your strength…” She swallowed hard and turned away from Kara enough to grab the lamp. She held it between them. “This should dampen your powers. Enough so you don’t wake up like that after a nightmare, enough that you don’t have to hear your neighbors… Maybe you can open a beer bottle,” she said and smiled slightly.

Alex stepped up then, but Sam grabbed her arm to keep her back.

“I’ve done every test I can think of aside from just testing it on you. It shouldn’t hurt humans, since the red sun is just a dying sun. With UV blocking blinds and this… I think it should work. It worked on samples of your blood, at least. I’ve programmed it so only you can turn it on, so it shouldn’t ever be used against you. I also have the only set of plans, in a safe, within a safe, in my lab. With several things missing and only in my head.”

Kara stared at it, took it in her hands and turned it over to exam in, in wonder. “You found a way for me to just relax,” she whispered. She found the thumb print scanner and placed hers there. The lamp lit up, emitting a soft red glow around the room. She stood there for a few moments and looked up to Lena in confusion. “I don’t… feel different,” she said softly.

Lena took the lamp from her and set it down, then looked to Sam. Sam left Alex’s side, who stood there shocked as well, and let down the shades Lena had just installed. 

The room stopped for several moments. Sam stood at the shades, ready to let the radiation from the yellow sun back into the room. Alex stood a few feet back from Kara, staring at her sister and ready to help. Kara and Lena stood together, little space between them and holding hands while they stared at the lamp.

Suddenly, Kara’s head snapped to Lena. She dropped her hands to pull her glasses off and looked around the room.

“Kara?” Alex asked.

“My hearing. My vision…” She closed her eyes, and stood still. “I can’t fly,” Kara whispered after a moment. “It’s… it’s working.”

Alex moved immediately. She went to Lena’s desk and found a safety pin, before going to Kara. She took her hand and pricked her finger. A few droplets of blood slipped out, but scabbed over. For Kara, it was slow, like her immune system was merely slowed. But it wasn’t non-existent. Lena nodded, having expected that to happen.

“How do you feel?” Lena asked.

“I mean… my finger hurts now,” Kara said, cracking a smile just for Lena. Everyone let out a small laugh, letting tension evaporate from the room.

Lena took Kara’s hands again. “Look, this is just for you, okay. So you can turn it all off whenever you want. I am thinking about making something wearable, some way for you to turn it off while outside in case someone accuses you of being Supergirl. So you could prick your finger and show you’re fine. But I have no idea where to start on that,” Lena said with a small laugh. 

“Lena, this is enough, and amazing.” Kara said gently. “I can’t believe…” she bit her lip. “Lena, I can’t believe you’d do this for me.”

“I’d do anything for you, Kara.”

Alex cleared her throat, and they both jumped. “Sorry to… interrupt. But can I see the plans?” Alex asked, but the underlying demand was clear.

Lena looked to Alex, thought for a moment, then shook her head. “No. I won’t allow this research to be weaponized in any way. This was a one time thing, for her,” she said firmly. She looked to Kara. “I could, though, make another for your cousin. You said he had a baby. I can’t imagine that’ll be easy on Lois.”

Alex bit her lip. “It’s just… You’re not using Kryptonite. To be able to update the training room for Kara…” She looked at Kara, who seemed to stay by Lena’s side. “But if you’re not comfortable with it, I get it,” Alex said, stepping back.

Lena bit her lip and glanced at Sam, who was making a face that was obviously trying to communicate ‘get along with her you dumbass’. Lena sighed softly. “I’ll tell you what. You can see the plans, but I do the building and install, and only Kara can activate it. No use for cuffs, no cells, only the training room.” She waited for Alex to nod. “Sam, can you…”

“No problem. Alex, come on,” Sam said and led her into the lab, if only to give them a moment.

Kara turned back to Lena, shaking her head slightly. “Why…” she bit her lip. “You must have been working on this nonstop, Lena. Why?”

Lena took Kara’s hands and gave them a gentle squeeze. “Being Kara Danvers would be exhausting enough for me. All the good you do. Add Supergirl onto it, everything you carry with you… you deserve a chance to turn it all off. To get a good night’s sleep. To not hear your neighbors going at it,” she said and smiled. “I just… this was something I could do for you. And you made it sound like you thought not being able to turn off some of your powers stood in the way of you having the life you want. I could do something about it, and I would, anything to make you happy.”

Kara didn’t say a word, but hugged Lena tightly. For one of the few times in her life, she hugged her best friend as tight as she could. Lena could feel the pads of Kara’s fingers pressing harder into her ribs, felt her arms adjust to hold her closer. Lena, smiling, rested her face on Kara’s collarbone and relaxed into the hold. She had never felt Kara hold her so surely. 

Kara couldn’t help it as she kissed the side of Lena’s head, her nose burying into dark hair. She couldn’t comfort herself by listening to Lena’s heart beat, so she pulled her closer, trying to get them close enough to feel Lena’s heart beat. 

They stood there like that, while Alex and Sam watched from the doorway. “You know she loves her too, right?” Sam whispered to Alex.

Alex pursed her lips. “I do. But Kara doesn’t. And it’s hurting her more than she’ll ever admit.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter took a little longer. Classes started and trying to figure out what the fuck is going on with what's remote and what isn't has been a nightmare.


	4. Lena's Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is a little short, but I needed to try and get writing again. Hope you like it.

The door was yanked open moments after Lena had knocked, as she was used to. She wasn’t prepared to have a very warm smile directed at her by the older Danvers sister. The smile fell, though, into confusion then slight disappointment. “I thought you were Kelly…” Alex explained and let Lena inside. “What the hell are you wearing?”

“Me? You’re asking me that?” Lena asked with a laugh. Alex, in true Alex fashion, clearly took Kara’s instructions of ‘it’s a Halloween Party, dress up!’ and did as little effort as she possibly could. Alex was wearing all black,  _ definitely no effort there _ , Lena thought, had a little more eyeliner than normal, and had dollar store cat ears perched on her head. But by the way Alex adjusted them, Lena assumed they were held there by a cheap plastic band and would be mysteriously broken within the hour. “You couldn’t even get a tail? You seriously wear these clothes every day, how did you get away with wearing this?”

“Stop staring at my ass, Luthor. I have a girlfriend, you know,” Alex said, her attention back to the door. “And I get away with it because she loves me.” Alex paused, then smirked. “Well… she loves me  _ and _ I’m capable of humiliating her.” Alex was momentarily satisfied by the deep red blush that took over Lena’s face.

“She can stare at your ass all she wants, babe. I can’t blame her.” Kelly announced from the door, this time gaining the attention from the other party goers. 

Lena tensed as the chatter died down, everyone’s attention now obviously on Lena’s arrival. This was exactly why Lena had been hesitant to come, only deciding when Kara stuck her with the damn puppy eyes over lunch two days ago. She had been around Alex, though neither of them were obviously thrilled about that, only occasionally since Lena unveiled the red lamp.

The lamp in question, Lena realized when she dared look at the group, was placed in the center of Kara’s coffee table - almost a place of honor. Only then did Lena realize it was on, and the curtains she made were drawn.

It wasn’t unusual for Kara to have it on. She’d turn it on sometimes while her and Lena were watching movies -- usually with a twisted, pained look that Lena knew meant neighbors were… enthusiastically coupling, as Kara said one night. The shock for Lena was that Kara would want it on, in front of their friends, for no reason other than to relax for a night.

“Oh Rao!” Kara exclaimed, then threw her head back in a laugh. “You’re  _ Dr. Horrible?! _ ” 

Kara’s amusement, that bright, happy smile that always made her heart turn over, made the entire ensemble worth it. Lena grinned at Kara and looked down at herself. The outfit ended up being rather easy to put together. A simple modification of her lab coat, some khaki pants (explaining to Jess why she needed khaki pants earned her knowing grins and good natured ribbing from her assistant), white boots, gloves from her lab, spray painted goggled with some extra caps glued to them, and her personal favorite…

“Tell me you didn’t actually make a ray gun,” Alex drawled. More of her comment, which likely had to do with Lena’s feelings toward her sister, died when Lena raised the gun and squirted Alex in the face with a light jet of water.

Relieved laughter erupted from Nia and Brainy, Kelly failed at hiding her giggle, and Alex wiped away the few drops of water still running down her forehead.

“Touche, Luthor. Whiskey?”

Her welcome back to game night relaxed in that moment. Kelly and Alex were pushing past her with food and beer, Nia and Brainy were back to debating the best strategy for pictionary, and Kara’s arms were immediately tight around Lena’s waist. Lena could feel her muscles flex, the pads of her fingers dig in, and Kara’s whole body relax when Lena let her arms rest around Kara’s neck.

“You came,” Kara breathed, her joy over this evident as she tightened her hug.

“I told you I would,” Lena murmured, giving her a slightly coy smile as she pulled back enough to meet blue eyes.

“I know but you actually came and you actually dressed up, unlike  _ someone _ ,” Kara shot a glare to Alex, who smirked.

Now wasn’t the time to tell Kara, or to at least ask for a conversation about the possibility of them. They were surrounded by friends and laughter and it was only right to enjoy. Besides, Alex seemed far too keen on forcing the conversation anyway.

“Hey, Luthor… if you’re Dr. Horrible, does that make Kara Penny?” 

Kara’s face reddened and she glared at her smirking sister. Lena’s eyes widened for just a moment before deciding to just slip back into their old easy banter. “Well, I did notice several similarities between Captain Hammer and Mon-El,” she said casually. At this, Kara grabbed a bottle of beer, twisted the top off, and took a few too many gulps. 

Alex’s grin only grew. “The attitude, you’re right. That whole ‘I’m going to save the day and totally fail at it’ thing.”

Lena’s eyes twinkled for a moment, and she amused herself by waiting for Kara to take a drink. “And always getting in your way when you really need him not to,” she murmured and glanced at Kara. As suspected, the beer was sprayed slightly when blue eyes met green and Lena winked.

“In this hypothetical scenario, am I equated to Moist? Because I’m not very fond of that analogy.” Brainy’s comment, and the resulting laughter and Nia’s reassurances that he definitely wasn’t just a useless sidekick, brought the attention off of Lena and Kara.

Game night continued as expected - Alex’s cat ears broke about thirty seconds after the group photo, Lena flirted with Kara and Kara blushed, then Kara started to flirt back. As the alcohol flowed more freely during the night, the charades competition got more ridiculous. When Alex tried to show  _ Pirates of the Carribean _ by acting out the scene where Jack rides the sinking ship up to the dock by… standing still... Lena turned her face into Kara’s shoulder, both of them shaking with laughter. A swell of warmth that overpowered the glow from her whiskey coursed through Lena when Kara kissed the top of her head and wrapped an arm around her. They stayed like that for the rest of the night.

There were, however, a couple things Lena hadn’t expected. For one, she hadn’t expected Kara to keep the red sun lamp on all evening, meaning Lena wasn’t the only one feeling her alcohol. Kara’s cheeks were cutely flushed, she giggled more easily - even for Kara - and touches lingered longer than they typically would - again, even for Kara. 

Lena also hadn’t anticipated Alex leaving them to clean up with a slightly meaningful look between them, Lena still with empty bottles in her hands. “See you tomorrow, Kara! Later, Luthor!” was the only warning they were given before the door snapped shut.

It should be awkward. Lena would have realized just how awkward it should have been had she not been drinking, and not wrapped in the warmth that was Kara’s laughter. They could talk now, Lena knew. Lena could simply open her smiling mouth, ask Kara to talk about their relationship… But Kara was laughing as she removed the paper from the make-shift easel, still holding Brainy’s last attempt at a misunderstood clue. Lena chuckled as well and shook her head. “Poor guy. It’s not fair to have such obscure references in the hat, you know,” she chided her friend as Kara came to her with a proud smirk.

Kara merely shrugged. “We always ensure there’s a variety of things in the hat, Lena,” she said, the same way she always did. “If we left it easy, there’d never be a winner,” she pointed out as Lena chuckled again. “Besides, we kicked their butts in Pictionary and charades. And that’s what matters,” Kara said, very matter of fact as she leaned against the counter right next to Lena. “We’ve always made a great team,” Kara observed with those earnest, loving blue eyes piercing into her own.

“We do indeed,” Lena said simply. And then she did something, as though she had done it a hundred times before and would do it a thousand more. Lena leaned over the small space between them and pressed a soft kiss to Kara’s lips. Had this not been the first time they kissed, it would have been as simple as the kiss pressed to a partner’s lips in passing. A ‘thanks for doing the dishes’ peck exchanged with a smile. But as Lena pulled back and she met Kara’s wide blue eyes, she realized exactly what she had done.

She opened her mouth more than once, trying to come up with… what? An apology? Excuse? Explanation? “I… Kar, I…” As she searched Kara’s eyes, she saw her confusion shift slowly into the usual warmth Lena found in Kara’s gaze. Maybe she didn’t need any of that. Maybe… They stepped into each other, Lena was sure of that. She gripped Kara’s hips as strong hands cupped her cheeks, then slid into her hair.

When Lena had dared to imagine this, she always thought if they ever got to this point, it’d be hasty. They’d be desperate after years of denying this. But everything seemed slow. The way Kara smiled despite her lips otherwise occupied was slow, as was their progress back toward Kara’s bedroom. 

Lena forced herself to stay present. She wouldn’t allow herself to get lost in the way her heart raced or how desperately she wanted this. Instead, she focused on the feeling of pulling Kara’s sweatshirt over her head, the smile Kara flashed her once free, and the graze of Kara’s soft hands against her own stomach as her shirt was removed.

Even in the darkness of Kara’s bedroom, Lena could make out every feature of Kara’s. She touched each one, either with her fingers or a soft kiss. Her neck, her jaw, her collarbone. With each bit of skin exposed, they each memorized it through touch. Through taste. 

There were several things Lena didn’t expect to come from game night. But more than anything, she didn’t expect to wake up in Kara’s bed, completely naked, cold, and alone.

**Author's Note:**

> Uh. I'm bechloe-takeyouraim on tumblr. But be warned, I don't post anything aside from occasional reblog sprees of my Favorite Gays (TM) -- the USWNT and Supercorp.


End file.
